life isnt about the mistakes you have made, but its about learning from your mistakes that make a difference.

what to do if you just found out that the reason for someone pushing you away is because they are tooo scared to feel… what now!!!

i feel so content inside today i realised why you are and will always be my best friend. having the ability to talk to you, to tell you how i feel, knowing that you understand me and that you will always be there for me no matter what - wow im grateful.. better yet im happy…

tumblrbot asked: ROBOTS OR DINOSAURS?

dinosaurs

so this is the first tme i decide to speak about this, ive never ever spoken about it because it hurt way to much to speak about it — and for some reason i trust you enough to talk about it to be open with you. telling you will probably or might i dont know change your perspective about me or make you see me in a different light. i dont know what you feel for me and me telling you this i cant expect you to not judge me coz what happend i brought apon myself —- what i can tell you though that it has made me the person i am today it has made me stronger and able to look at life at a different perspective. im not perfect anything but i tooo had made my mistakes as a teen my fair share of mistakes and yes im going to make alot more in my life.

i dont regret what had happend in my past im not supse to anyway… yes i was stupid naive and rebelious and i had made sooo many mistakes that im scared toooo ever fall again. i had met this guy who i had thought was super awesome cool and amazing and i really thought he had cared about me —- i fell for everything he had said yoh i dno to blame it on love i really dont know but i was inlve with him —- and thats the guy i had first become intimate with i really thought he loved me but clearly not he hurt me to the max and was never really there for me whn i needed someone but yes my fault, while dating him i met another guy this guy became my best friend and we spent alot of time together maybe way toooo much time for people that were just friends. i ended up getting involved with him but not relationship wise something else —- yoh i was inlove with this guy it was bad and then we ended up not talking anymore ( thats another lopng story that involves a girl ) and it toook me just over a year to get over him ive never felt so hurt in my life yet, i literally used to cry myself to sleep every evening.. i became rebelious catching on my own crap not having a care in the world, ive never in my life messed up that much.

eventually it got to a point were i couldnt anymore emotionally i knew if i carried on i would crack and it wasnt healthy living the way i did and i decided to change. i needed to lift myself up outta that hole i dug i couldnt at a time forgive myself but ive learnt to - i lost alot of my friends or so called friends but its ok, im not proud of anything that happend or anything i did, what i am proud though is changing and being strong enough to be able to move on with my life… its been a storm but i got through it and im happy i did.

so telling you this might have just i dno spoild probably any chance of you liking me but its ok and know that it took alot outta me to tell you this, if you judge me its ok i can handle the punch.. now you know who i was and i know you know who i am….

“without the rain fall there would be no rainbow” we all make mistakes….

it kills me to see you the whole time, knowing i cant be wit you. why is it that we always want something we cant have. arggg talk about frustrating hey. i just want you to hold me tight, hug me and kiss me. now you end up being like all the others. sucks much —- o well i guess that is part of life hey things cant always go my way. all i wanna do is be with you….

the fact that i cant get you off my mind is killing me. day in and day out constantly thinking about you. sometimes i wish the thought of you would dissapear so that i wouldnt have to feel the pain of knowing us just being friends but nothing more. cant we erase the emotions we wish not to feel and the pain we can not heal…

you seem to make my day everytime we in contact but knowing at the back of my mind that we just friends, kinda makes it not worth it. many people have said give up and move on but my heart says something else. would i be foolish to listen too my heart where people on the outside can probably see more than what i can… just one i wish for you to open up to me wish you knew that im not here to hurt you, im just here to soften up the pain of the past….

i believe people are put into your life for a reason, and they leave your life for a reason as well… we are ment to learn and feel pain to make us stronger and to make us aware of things around us - because without that life would just be useless and we would all just be week..

i asked that one day you would give me that chance to unlock that door that you make sooo hard to unlock sooo that i am toooo able to experience the pain and hurt with you, as  well as the joys and smiles in your heart…

yours foreveer….